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Here you will find the answers to the questions and statements  I am most often presented with.  Read on as I address fears, negative self-talk, panic, phobias, anger, grief, trauma, and other life challenging concerns.  Looking for an answer to something else?  Write me, i'll get back to you and also post it here (without your name)!  Thanks in advance for contributing to Ask This Counselor!

April thru August 2020

8/4/2020

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COVID-19 Update

It has certainly been an interesting five months since my prior post.  As well all know, the current recommendations are to stay a minimum of 6 FEET APART and wear a mask.

The Mask Debate

As a therapist, I have heard it all.  Why we should and why we should not.  Frankly, let us get down to our basic value system.  You see, we all really want the same for ourselves.  We want to love, to live, to care, to earn, to be a productive individual (no matter what that looks like to us).  And with all that we want, many have chosen to make wearing a mask a political debate.  How Selfish! 
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You see, considering we want the same basic things out of life, how dare any of us create a political ploy out of a health scare.  To value our commonalities, it is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to act accordingly.  You don't have to agree.  You don't have to believe.  But by all means, you have to BE RESPONSIBLE.  
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Being Responsible

Adulting requires responsibility even if we don't like it.  So my suggestion is to be an adult and take control over helping your fellow individual.  Wear a f*%$#@!! mask!  It does not harm you.  YES, that means those of you with respiratory concerns.  WEAR the f*%$#@!! mask for the 5 minutes needed.  YOU will benefit as well.  YOU are at a high risk of vulnerability.  This is not politics folks, this is life.  It is life and death.  There is a virus that we cannot eradicate.  DO YOUR PART.  
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Stop Hiding Behind Virtue

When we hide behind virtue, we present higher moral standards.  Get over yourself.  You and I and everyone else has the same worth.  When you truly understand this, you will see it IS NOT ABOUT YOU.   It is about ALL OF US as a COLLECTIVE.  Let us start acting it.  CHOOSE to do the RIGHT THING.  It will only benefit you.  Get over yourself.  You are a droplet in the sea.
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I Don't Like Masks Either

I don't like wearing them either.  It's annoying, difficult to breathe and I often have to run back to the car to get them.  But dammit , if there is even the remote possibility that it will help to suppress this awful virus then i'll do it.  It does not negate my rights as a United States Citizen.  I still have a choice.  I can do my part and feel good about it or I choose not too.  Let us not forget that choosing too or not too has repercussion.   Yet, I find them to be nominal.
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DON'T BITCH AND MOAN that if you choose not to wear your mask that a store owner can CHOOSE to prevent you from entering their premises.  THEY HAVE THE RIGHT as well.  DON'T TALK OUT OF BOTH SIDES of your MOUTH.  It is not becoming. 
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Fluidity and The Beauty

No, not Beauty and the Beast.  Fluidity.  You see, you can choose or not choose.  You can also change your mind.  We are a free country.  We do not have to steadfast one way or the other.  So if you feel you might want to contribute to the betterment of our society just because, well then, you can.  And if you choose not too, well then, you can.  I implore you however, to stop trying to convince others that YOU ARE RIGHT.  The mere stance of one being right creates conflict.  We do not need conflict.  If you are on the left or the right or somewhere in between is your right.  And we all have a moral compass.  Let us start using it instead of politics because the human life is not a political agenda.
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It's OKAY.

It's okay if you do not agree with me.  I'm an adult and I can accept your differing opinion, experiences, way of life, expectations, and conceptualizations without feeling targeted or insulted.  Please however, give me the same consideration.  It's not politics.  It's not about belief.  It's about the possibility.  And the possibility of saving a life by wearing the mask is definitely  a good cause to do so.
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