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Here you will find the answers to the questions and statements  I am most often presented with.  Read on as I address fears, negative self-talk, panic, phobias, anger, grief, trauma, and other life challenging concerns.  Looking for an answer to something else?  Write me, i'll get back to you and also post it here (without your name)!  Thanks in advance for contributing to Ask This Counselor!

What are you kicking to the curb?

5/1/2019

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When I state that it's time to kick anxiety and depression to the curb, i'm indicated that your "head trash" must go!  Anxiety and depression bring baggage or head trash as I like to call it.  This is the crap that mulls around in your head that explains very frankly to you why you are unable, incapable, and not worthy of living life without anxiety or depression.  Kicking these to the curb is indicative of living your life without fear.  This is what I do; I make it possible for you to live life without fear or as most professionals like to note, live life to the fullest in spite of your fears.  I put you back in control of your life.
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Do anxiety and depression co-exist?

4/1/2019

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Great question!  Often, yes, they co-exist.  Kinda sucks, doesn't it?  The reason for this is simple and if you experience one or both, you will understand immediately.  If you are asking for a loved one, you will now have learned the intricacy of these disorders in brief.

Individuals plagued by anxiety often lose faith that there is relief for it.  They begin to avoid situations that elevate it and in turn become more and more down on themselves.  As this becomes the norm, depression creeps in and convinces them that they are helpless to fight the anxiety.  

Individuals plagued by depression view themselves in a negative fashion, meaning, they look down upon themselves and do not believe that they can move forward to combat it.  As depression expands, it causes additional situations and problems that an individual worries about, hence the presence of anxiety.

Untreated anxiety and depression become a vicious cycle.  To add insult, others who have never experienced either cannot fathom what they cannot see.  To aid in this endeavor, professionals often seek to educate not only family and friends of loved ones seeking treatment but also the communities in which they serve.
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Do I have to do exposure?

3/1/2019

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Exposure is often a recommended treatment to combat anxieties.  The short answer to your question, no.  You do not have to do exposure as a treatment option.  You also don't have to eliminate your anxiety.  Huh?  To most effectively eradicate a debilitating anxiety, exposure is the treatment of choice.  No matter how you slice or dice it, you will have to take action.

Exposure is not as intimidating as it seams.  It's not an all or nothing process by any means.  It's a method, a blueprint to get you from where you are right now to where you want to go.  It is effective, fast and applicable to nearly all situations that provoke anxiety.  You would certainly be remiss to not give it a go.
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Why do you call it Anxieties?

2/1/2019

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Often times, I address the topic of anxiety in the plural.  Reason being, there are many types of anxieties.  General anxiety, social anxiety, panic, phobia, OCD, and PTSD.  Typically, this is done when providing education by allowing me to address a larger audience and their varying concerns while indicating and normalizing the similarities that are experienced, therefore, allowing for a greater impact overall.
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The Mystery of Counseling

1/1/2019

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Like a well written mystery, counseling is fascinating! Every evolving story line is unique.  There is a beginning; sometimes it is a slow but progressive first chapter; other times, an all-in intense opening.

As the story evolves, the characters (you and me) begin to question the what, the who, the where, the why, and the how? We must unravel the unexplained, unknown, or kept secret.

The plot thickens, the details and clues begin to surface. And as we embark upon these critical junctures, we develop a plan to discover the ambiguities that often bring to light more divided paths or distractions.


Through experience, problem-solving, exploration, review and processing, the uncovered information points us toward resolution and the hero (that’s you) moves onward to live life with new intent and meaning.

Counseling is about being open, digging in, and trust. It is all about collaboration, togetherness, and possibilities. It is understanding that life challenges are the exception and not the rule. It is learning to believe in the possibility of YOU.
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